Thursday, June 5, 2014

The Index, Part 2

The Magisterium exercised by the EF has felt the need to add the following to the Index already published here. All the Church’s faithful are requested to avoid so much as thinking of the following concepts under pain of incurring our most grievous displeasure.

America Online
The American Revolution
Animal “rights”
Anthony Ruff
Archbishop Weakland
Aristotelian objections to creatio ex nihilo, Plato, the immortality of the soul, and the multiplicity of human intellects

Benedictine sodomites in Minnesota (You know who you are.)
Bishops (including popes) who fail to use the imperial we
Blogs

Cardinal Bernadine
Complaining
Conciliarism

The Da Vinci Code
Dan Schutte and his “music”
Dead Man Walking

Emplotment
Excising verses from the psalms

Gynoforce

Liminality
Liturgical Renewal
Love bubbles

Metanarratives
MTV
"Muslim" instead of "Mohammedan"
Muumuus

Objections to the just use of capital punishment
Objections to relics, relics, images, and the Immaculate Conception
Omitting the Athanasian Creed

Pacifism
Paisley neckties
Peace Studies
People who refuse to pull their pants up
Phallogocentrism (the word not the idea)
Pornocracy
Pronouncing Te Deum as tedium
The prefix inter- in unacceptable neologisms (e.g. interfaith, intersex, intertextuality)
Puritanism

Refusal to argue from facts or to argue rationally at all

Samuel Becket
Separatism
Sister Hellen Prejean
Social network theory
Spending too much money on pets
Spiritual angular alignment (with anything)

Things you need to be happy
The Thirty-Nine Articles of the C of E
Turning nouns into verbs in an unacceptable fashion (e.g. to parameterize)
Twitter

Universalism

Vegan alternatives to meat products

Waiting for Godot
Whining
Wrongly pronouncing English or Latin

Your truth (but not mine)




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hah, funny.

James said...

"Muslim" is a more neutral term than "Mohammedan" - if I were going to refer to them by the name of their prophet, I would call them "Mahometans".

By "Paisley", I take it that tartan is meant. People in the US seem rather confused about what to call such things