Sedevacantists and Archbishop Bugnini, Part 2

We continue with our series. Please note the connection between Collegeville and the sacred handshake.

During the Council, Bugnini, now a crazed demoniac, pushed for a liberalization of the Church’s moral theology, because he knew if he could somehow contrive the legalization of in vitro fertilization, he would eventually be capable of raising up an army of soulless zombie children, who would answer only to him and other like-minded liturgists. 

[Ed.: As everyone knows, children conceived by in vitro fertilization don’t have souls, but therefore they’re also conceived without original sin.] 

These children would then erect training camps in the West Indies under Judas’s watch where they would be instructed in the art of machete use, sharpening their skills on sugar plantations. It was Bugnini's plan that these products would fund his operations with the CIA in the United States and Taiwan to undermine the Catholic Church everywhere, but especially in Taiwan and the United States. These children when their skill level reached its height would be used by Bugnini to bully liturgists into accepting his revolution, because, as everyone knows, liturgists fear nothing more than full blown plantation revolts of highly trained, soulless, machete-bearing children – that’s a fact. Also during the Council, he hatched a deal with the gays since they were the up and coming new kids on the block on the Liturgy scene. Most of them were from Collegeville, after all. Faithful to their requests, he introduced the sign of peace into the liturgy, a pagan, homosexual custom, and convinced the Pope to make the deacon’s dalmatic optional, so that deacons in most places would only wear their stole across their chests; their stole is soon to be officially replaced with the rainbow sash by the year 2017, according to the concordat signed between Bugnini and the gays and kept in the secret Vatican archive. In exchange for these changes, the gay liturgists agreed to implement his program wherever they were sent in the emerging empire of the rainbow.

Anyway, after the New Mass was invented by Bugnini, the consilium, and the gays, an off-duty drunken Swiss guard, whose name has been erased from every parish record, was passed out lying in the streets of Rome near Bugnini’s residence. By some miraculous act of God, he heard Bugnini and his fellow conspirators consecrating the Church to Satan during their usual tea time. 

[Ed.: Fr. Malachi Martin has already documented this in one of his books, all based on fact.] 

The Swiss guard quickly informed the Pope of what was going on and the Pope got real pissed. Paul VI himself was even known to have said: “This displeases us greatly.” After pulling Bugnini into the office to find out if the sign of peace was really a bathhouse greeting, he immediately made Bugnini papal legate to Iran to punish him. He couldn’t admit that the new Mass was an abysmal failure or from hell or the gays, because then Archbishop Lefebvre would have won the 200,000 lire bet that the new Mass would never work. Plus, Giovanni already owed Marcel 50,000 for the world cup.

In Iran, Bugnini half-heartedly converted to Islam because he wanted to take a harem and to try to spirit channel Dido into one of his harem girls, but it was too late. The old witch was dead. Plus, Sufiism, the only sect of Mohamedanism which would permit such a thing, was outlawed in Iran and subject to open persecution by the Mullahs. 

Anyway, once Bugnini had died, Pope Benedict really hated what he and the other gay liturgists did to the Liturgy, and to get them back, Benedict asked President Bush in secret negotiations to nuke Mecca during Ramadan, before the rainbow sash could be universally implemented. With typical Germand candor, he told this to Candoleeza Rice before their last meeting. Plus, he was enraged that her mantilla was askew.