Ist Verboten!

Verborum ac Notionum ac Hominum et Ceterorum Index Prohibitorum:

Abortion
Abuse, especially of children, women, the elderly, and the liturgy
Access
Active participation
Activism
Activist judges
Adele
Adolf von Harnack
Adultery
Advertising
Affirmation
Affirmative action
“Afrocentric” names (e.g. Kenitha, Bunifa, Latifah, Halifah, Sharifa, Jamal, Oranjello, Lemonjello, Jerome, Tyrone, Tyrell, Femalee, Donté etc.)
Agribusiness
Alberto Cutié, a.k.a. “Fr. Oprah”
All you can eat buffets
America, United States of
American “culture”
American “history”
American “literature”
Androphobia
Angela Merkel
Animal rights’ activists
Anne Rice
Anthrax
The Anti-Defamation League
Antipopes
Apostasy
The Arab Spring
Archbishop Bugnini
Artificial anything
Aspartame
Assemblies instead of Congregations
Assisi Conferences
Asymmetrical haircuts
Atheists who (wrongly) think they’re happy
Attorneys
Austrian School of Economics
Autocephaly

Bailouts
Banks
The Beatles
Benjamin Spock
Bill Gates
Birth control
Bishops’ conferences, usually
Bishopesses
Blasphemy
Bob Marley
Bongo drums
Boob jobs
“Born-again” “Christians”
Bowling
Boy bands
Broadway musicals
The Brooklyn Bridge
Bulletin boards
Bullying
Bumper stickers

Cable News Network (CNN)
Californians (but not California)
Capitalism [Tancred notes: This ill-defined term is of great moment for many in the public sector who wish for a Utopian dream world.]
Cardinal Kaspar
Cardinal Law
Cardinal Mahoney
Cartoons
Catullus
Celine Dion
Charismatic Movement
Charles Curran
Che Guevara
Cheap booze
Cheez Whiz
Chicago cronyism
Chick tracts
Child actors
Christopher West
Chuck E. Cheese’s
Cigarettes (pipes and cigars are ok, for men)
Civil rights
Climate change
Clowns
Co-ed anything
Collegeville
Committees
Communion in the hand
Communism
Concelebration
Concubinage
Conspiracies
“Contemporary” “English”
Contraception
Conventions
Converse All Stars
Cool Whip
Corporatism
Country “music”
“Courtship” instead of “dating”
Cravats
Crystals

Dan Brown novels
David Cameron
David Haas
Debates
Decimal Currency
Delilah Rene (that stupid bitch on the radio)
Democracy
The Democratic Party
Demonstrations
Denim
Descriptive Grammar
Desecration
Dialogue
Dick and Jane Method
Disobedient children
Dissent
Diversity
Divination
Divorce
Dog Shit
Drag Shows
Dreadlocks, at least on white people
Drug Abuse Resistance Education
Dual Covenant Theology
Dungeons and Dragons

Eagles Wings
Ear wax
Ebonics

École Normale Supérieure

Ecumenism

Egalitarianism
Elections
Elvis Impersonators
Environment and Art in Catholic Worship
Equality
Error
Eucharistic Prayers, newly composed
The Euro
The European Union
Ex-priests
Extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion

Fast food
Fat people
Febreze
Female clergy
Feminism
Folk music in church
Fornication
Fox News
Fraternities (but not the Fraternity)
Free-verse poetry, Elliot excepted
The French Revolution
Free Masonry
Free-standing altars in Western churches
Free trade
Freedom
French police in riot gear
Fundraisers

Gambling
Gas-guzzling SUVs
Gather Us In
Gay marriage
Gay sex
Gender balance
Gender identity
Gender studies
General intercessions
Global warming
Golf
Good Friday Prayer for the Jews, 1970
Gossip columnists
Government statistics
Graduate Record Examinations
Greek life
The Gregorian Institute of America
Guitars
Gynarchy
Gynergy

Haikus
Hamburger Helper
Hans Küng
Harley Davidsons
Harvard University
Health insurance companies
Hedonism
Here I am, Lord
Heresy
Heterodoxy
High school bands
Hip-hop
Hipsters
Historical critical method
Hitler
Hollywood
Homeopathy
Homilies instead of Sermons
Horoscopes
(For women:) How bad your last relationship was
(For undergraduates:) How drunk you were last night
Hugo Chávez
Human Rights Commissions
Hymns at Mass

Iconoclasm
Identity Politics
IKEA
Immigration
Imperialism
Improper grammar (e.g. “between you and I)
Inclusion
Inclusive language
Inculturation
Insubordination
The Internal Revenue Service
International Commission on English in the Liturgy
Internet dating websites
Inter-religious dialogue
Involvement
Ipods
Islam, radical or otherwise
The Israeli occupation of Palestine

Jackson Pollock
James Pike
Jazz
Jazzercise
Jeans
Jennifer Granholm
Jerry Springer
Jesuits, St. Louis and otherwise
Jesuit Psalter
The Jesus Seminar
Joan Chittister
John Calvin
John Shelby Spong
Justin Bieber (especially his haircuts)

Karl Rahner
Katharine Schori
The Kennedies
The Ku Klux Klan

Lady Gaga
Lawyers
Leadership Conference of Women Religious
The Left Behind Series
The Legion of Christ
Lensless glasses
Lesbianism
Liberalism
Libertarianism
Liberty
Lists
Litter Boxes
Liturgical Revision
Liturgists
The loss of the pronoun whom
The loss of the subjunctive
The lottery
Lutheranism

Margaret Sanger
Marijuana
Mark Zuckerberg
Martin Luther
Matriarchy
Marty Haugen
Marxism
Meat on Fridays
The media
Medjugorje
Megachurches
The Message
Meta-narratives
Methodism
Military-Industrial Complex
Miniskirts
Mixed Choirs
“Modern” “Art”
Modernism
Monster truck rallies
Montel Williams
Mormonism
Mothers who fail to breastfeed
Mullets
Music, post-1900

Neo-cons
Neo-liberal Economics
New age shit
New International Version
New York City
New Yorkers
Nightclubs
The 1960s and ‘70s
Nintendo
No Child Left Behind Act
North American Free Trade Agreement
Nose rings
Notre Dame University
The Novus Ordo
Nuns in business suits

One Direction
One size fits all
Open theism
Operah Winfrey
Oregon Catholic Press
Organic pet food

Pacifists
The Packers
Paganism, Neo- and otherwise
Paper napkins
Parents who don’t care
Partially hydrogenated oils
The “Peace Prayer” wrongly attributed to St. Francis
Peace signs
Pentecostalism
People We Don’t Like
Petitions, especially online
Pets
Pilates
Pianos instead of harpsichords
Piercings on men
Pink
Pius X Psalter
Planned Parenthood
Political correctness
Pollution
Poncho chasubles
Ponytails on men, especially clergy
Pope Paul VI
Pornography
Post-modernism
Praise and worship music
Pray Tell Blog
President Bush
President Obama
Presiders and their Captain Kirk chairs
Pretentiousness
Pride parades
Priestesses
Prince Charles
Princess Diana
Professional athletes
Projection screens in churches
Prom
Pornography
Property rights
Protestantism
Protests
Psalm tone propers
Psychics
Psychology

Quantitative Assessments
Queer
Questioning
Quotas

Racism
Rainbow flags
Rainbow stoles
Rap
The Rapture
RCIA directors
Refrain glorias
The Republican Party
Republicanism
Responsorial psalms
Revolution
Rice-A-Roni
Richard Dawkins
Rights
Rock concerts
Rock ‘n’ roll
Role playing games
Rowan Williams
Rush Limbaugh
Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Sacrilege
Sarah Palin
Saxophones
Scented candles
Scholastic gibberish
Seances
SeaWorld
Secularism
Sedevacantists
Self-gift
Self-narratives
Self-possession
Sex, most of the time
Sex education
Sex reassignment surgery
Sexting
Sexual assault
Sexually transmitted infections
Shag carpeting
Shake ‘n Bake
Shopping malls
Shortshorts
Sign of peace
Sin
Six-day creationism
Smart drinks
Soap operas
Soccer moms
Sociology
Sodomy
Sororities
Southern Baptist Convention
Southern Poverty Law Center
Speaking in tongues
The Spice Girls
Spirituality
Sports
Stalin
Star Trek
Star Wars
The Statue of Liberty (i.e. That Idol of a French Whore)
Steve Jobs
Stoles worn over chasubles
Stupid people
The Supreme Court
Sustainability

Taliban
Tarot cards
Tattoos (a.k.a. “tramp stamps”)
The Tea Party, but not tea simply
Televangelists
Television
Texting
Therapy
Think-tanks
The three-year lectionary
Tolerance
Toleration
Toupées
Trailer parks
Transgendered
Transvestites
Trousers on women

Ugly people
Ugly tabernacles
Underwater Mongolian basket weaving
United Nations
Urban sprawl

Vampire novels
Vandalism
Vatican II
Vegetarianism
Veganism
Versus populum
Viagra
Vice
Violence

Walmart
Walt Disney
Wall Street
Washington DC
Welfare dependency
Whiggery
Witchcraft
Witches
Wombforce
Women’s ordination
Women who drive and talk on the phone at the same time
Womynist identities
World Council of Churches
World Youth Day
Wrestling, professional
Written constitutions

Xylophones

Yankee cuisine
Yankee foreign policy
Yard signs
Yoga
Your face
Your feelings (mine are ok)
Your happiness (and mine too)
Your Mom