Helium Prices Rise on the Increasing Possibility of a Schönborn Papacy

Cardinal Schönborn’s odds have gone up, as the Leftist press worldwide extols his alleged conservative credentials. His standing at Paddy Power has demonstrated great buoyancy. Meanwhile, the helium industry is gearing up for a ++Schönborn papacy, who if elected will not only create a lot of hot air among journalists, Catholic and secular alike, about how conservative he is, despite his penchant for Liturgical extremes, but will surely create a real demand for helium.

 

 At present, it’s not clear whether or not Dennis Rodman’s campaign for Cardinal Turkson is having an effect.

 

There are also suggestions in some confidential circles that instead of white smoke, they will release thousands of multicolored balloons if the Danube Cardinal is to channel some of that river water into the Tiber.

Link to  photo.